There’s always this one person that comes into our lives who makes us feel a sense of euphoria. Perhaps, it’s that feeling we’ve been longing for a long time now. Finally, we get to do the things we’ve been wanting to do with someone for a very long time.
Over time, we discover that person more and more like how we read a book from cover to cover amazed at every new word we discover and quite dismayed at some of the words with meanings we never fully expected. Each day is a page in someone’s life full of plot twists and elucidations of prior actions. We discover things that make or break our perspective of him. We understand things a bit better now. We do things differently after a while. Because time gives us moments of action, we do things we normally don’t show; most likely in a way that isn’t a character of what we want the other to see even if that mask didn’t totally cover up that face. We eventually stopped playing Jack, and went as Leonardo DiCaprio.
Somehow, some day, or at some point, we become so used to these actions like how we no longer deem a simple holding of hands as a sweet gesture but rather a habit to be done. That one peck on the cheek becomes a bit too simple and “conservative” in context unlike the first time when it truly meant something. In other cases, the traits we used to find endearing become annoying like how being clingy before equated to feeling special and irreplaceable and how it wasn’t as annoying as we remember it. Affectionate actions have become so habitual that we tend to reserve the special moments on special days like monthsaries or anniversaries so we could remember how it truly felt like the first time around.
Then, if we just remember how it was before, things get a bit brighter. Despite the fact that things change, he’s still the person who was there when we needed it the most. Not by the spoiled shallow moments we needed attention, but by the moments that we really needed a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold on. We did get hurt. We did wallow in sadness because of that person, but on the most part, it was for our own selfish reasons. We are constantly reminded of the negative things like how we see the negative in everyone and yet we fail to see the positive side that outnumber the negatives. We fail to see that because the positive is being shrouded, clouded by that negativity.
Staying in love is a choice rather than a feeling. We are fickle-minded people with Inside Out characters playing inside our head and to constantly rely on our feelings means we’re constantly building a deck of cards with winds that come and go. Remind that fluctuating mind of ours that it’s worth staying. Because when everything becomes too late, we can’t do a ctrl + z to undo the damage we’ve done or a ctrl + c, ctrl + v to have another one like him in our lives once he leaves.