Twilight Rant

Why do you people even like Twilight?

I seriously despise this movie/book. The book was poorly written and the movie was horrible. Even KStew and RPattz hated the whole series. It broke vampire culture. If one of you Twilight Lovers even say that it’s just originality, then you’re definitely effin’ wrong. Vampires are one of the most popular creatures of urban culture, but here comes Stephenie Meyer. She ruined it. How do they even sparkle for goddamn sake?! 

-Edward

The author describes him as PERFECT. Srsly. Edward says he has some sort of kissing expertise. Oh puh-lease. He’s a century-old virgin. He’s a stalker, abuser , liar and etc. That’s Meyer’s perfect guy. That should mean we have a new definition of Perfect. >,>

-Bella

Another Mary Sue. She teaches us to call our parents by their first names. She deserts a guy whom she had spent more time with after she sees oh-so perfect Edward. Everyone is like "Don’t despise! she’s very special". A vampire transformation happens through biting and it takes 3 days as said early in the book; however, in Bella`s case, it is very different! When she was transformed into a vampire, it only takes two days and the mode of transmission of the "venom" is through injection [syringe] and not by biting. Don`t complain! She`s special. So special that even the in-story haters tend to like her. She also likes having sex even though she’s badly bruised. LOLWUT?! I wish the van hit her. Go Team Tyler’s Van!

Meyer

Horrible Author. She likes to compare herself to JK Rowling and srsly likes it when fangirls say she’s better. She was recently ranted by Stephen King as a horrible writer and compared her to Rowling saying that she`s the exact opposite in which the latter is being described as a terrific writer. She said she got Twilight from a dream. Even pedophilia was from her dream.o_O. She is also a thesaurus abuser. Having overused the word "chagrin", she just misused it. She edited Breaking Dawn by herself because the editors refused to edit it due to reading the same thing all over again and again. No wonder it failed miserably in all levels. Everyone was expecting a great war, but it didn’t break out mainly because Meyer didn’t want anyone to die nor to get hurt. How pitiful. Awwww. They’re fictional characters for Pete’s sake! By the way, she’s Bella.

Bella is very fair-skinned, with long, straight, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped—a wide forehead with a widow’s peak, large, wide-spaced eyes, prominent cheekbones, and then a thin nose and a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. Her lips are a little out of proportion, a bit too full for her jaw line. Her eyebrows are darker than her hair and more straight than they are arched. She’s five foot four inches tall, slender but not at all muscular, and weighs about 115 pounds. She has stubby fingernails because she has a nervous habit of biting them

See the difference? I see nothing different.😄. She stopped the 5th book of the Series which is Midnight Sun (thank you) because the first 12 chaps of the draft were leaked on the internet. Hooray! She’s butthurt of the experience. Midnight Sun is postponed till eternity. XDD. She also said she would leave her husband if ever Edward Cullen knocks on her door. That’s it. She is seriously mental and is recommended to go to the mental asylum

Fangirls

They are the worst people you could ever meet in your whole life. Proclaim that you’re a twilight hater and you’ll get bathed in acid. They seriously do not know the difference between a good book and Twilight. Some like it because it’s oh-so famous. Some like it because of sparkling Edward. Some would die just to be Bella. Some broke up with their boyfriends hoping an Edward Cullen comes. Some are part of a cult called Cullenists. Heck, they made a bullshit prayer. Fuck it. They seriously are brainwashed by this hideous book through the adjectives. They are the result of the experimental statement "We don’t need a machine to brainwash people. We can do it through adjectives"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why is it even called a SAGA?  Stupid And Greatly Annoying. There isn’t even a plot inserted into it. Here’s the whole story of Twilight.

Bella goes to Forks. She meets Edward. Edward falls in love to Bella because she’s special. Bella falls in love with Edward because he’s perfect. They live happily ever after

Twilight is merely a stupid book written by a delusional woman who cannot get over her dream..

2 thoughts on “Twilight Rant

  1. LMAO
    “The author describes him as PERFECT. Srsly. Edward says he has some sort of kissing expertise. Oh puh-lease. He’s a century-old virgin. He’s a staker, abuser , liar and etc. That’s Meyer’s perfect guy. That should mean we have a new definition of Perfect. >,>”
    – this made me laugh xDD
    and when i saw her photo. lol.
    xDDDDDD

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